Until you can do what you want to do….
Went for a walk in the field behind our property the other day. My youngest boy who is 12, is very into making Youtube videos so he wanted to do a trash finding video. I didn’t want him going out there alone plus he needed to use my phone for the video, so I reluctantly tagged along. Isn’t that just mom life? lol I never seem to have anything of my own that I’m not sharing with my kids or my husband. Maybe I say yes too often…I don’t know. But I do want to encourage his love for videography.
Anyway…I currently have so much on my mind and I feel like I have to make it all happen somehow. Anyone else have a million things you want to do and you can’t give up any one thing? (Not can’t, but don’t want to) sigh…
I feel the pressure to make extra money so we can get more done and keep the place up. The farm income is slowly growing, but we really need it to grow a little faster and there are things that need fixing. I decided a couple weeks ago to put in an application at Hobby Lobby. Now that all 3 boys are pretty much teens (my youngest is 12), I don’t feel so much like I need to be here to watch them. My youngest still home schools but i would only be working part time so we can still make that work. However, I worry about how I’ll do with everything else. The boys can help out but there are the egg sales, custom ornaments I need to get done, giving riding lessons on dry days, milking and other animal care, making meals and then once kids sports start back up again since they are taking the winter off. And then just the general concern of everyone’s well being in our home and everything that goes along with having 5 different personalities and ages under one roof.
Anyway… I really wish I didn’t need to get an outside job but I guess you do what you have to do for awhile.
Funny thing is, I keep thinking, you know what? Let’s say I start working part time away from home, for someone else. That’s probably 20-25 hours per week. What if I were to do that at home focusing on one or 2 things? I am always trying to do too many things at once and it’s really hard to get something going really well if I’m only spending a small amount of time and focus because I’m trying to spread myself too thin.
I also may need to go back in to surgery for my ankle that I broke in October 2019. It was doing really well until this summer and then I started having some new pain. Not horrible and I can still do my stuff, but it has started happening more often and it’s annoying. I’m thinking I may have to have the pins taken out or fixed or something. I had broken a couple pins early on during my recovery but the doctor said as long as it wasn’t bothering me, they’d just leave them alone. So, this month I go in for an xray and we’ll see if I need surgery.
If I do need surgery, then I’m not going to be able to have an outside job for awhile anyway. Oh well, I guess it’s in the Lord’s hands. I figure while I’m waiting for Hobby Lobby to call me, if they do, I’m going to push myself to focus on one or two areas of the farm and really try and grow. One of those areas I’ve decided is posting to Instagram every day for awhile and getting more content up here on the website.
Laser focus is what I need, but as a wife and mom, it can be so hard. I see others do it though so I know it can be done!